How would be improved customer care:
Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut May I have your...'
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator: 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610'
Operator: 'OK... you're... Mr Gupta and you're calling from Naser Square, Deira, Dubai. Your home number is 04-2254821, your office 04-3480536 and your mobile is 050-9923487. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'
Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'
Operator: 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator: 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is AED 67.00'Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator: 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since
October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator: 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator: 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.. .'
Customer: 'What!'Operator: 'According to the details in system, you own a Scooter...registrat ion number 1123...'
Customer: '?'Operator: 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator: 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... 'Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator: 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?'
Is this Care ??....
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
THE BEST Put down LINE EVER
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Not everything you see is what it appears to be.
A PRINCE had some Monkeys trained to dance. Being naturally great mimics of men's actions, they showed themselves most apt pupils, and when arrayed in their rich clothes and masks, they danced as well as any of the courtiers. The spectacle was often repeated with great applause, till on one occasion a courtier, bent on mischief, took from his pocket a handful of nuts and threw them upon the stage. The Monkeys at the sight of the nuts forgot their dancing and became (as indeed they were) Monkeys instead of actors. Pulling off their masks and tearing their robes, they fought with one another for the nuts. The dancing spectacle thus came to an end amidst the laughter and ridicule of the audience.
Hidden meanings in Company talk
1. "We will do it" means "You will do it"
2. "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3. "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4. "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5. "After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6. "There was a slight mis-communication" means "We had actually lied"
7. "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8. "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9. "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10. "We had slight differences of opinion means "We had actually fought"
11. "Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out.No help from me"
12. "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13. "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14. "Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know…"
15. "We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16. "That’s actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
Last but not the least
17. "All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an "Australian treasure!"
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
Not everything you see is what it appears to be.
A PRINCE had some Monkeys trained to dance. Being naturally great mimics of men's actions, they showed themselves most apt pupils, and when arrayed in their rich clothes and masks, they danced as well as any of the courtiers. The spectacle was often repeated with great applause, till on one occasion a courtier, bent on mischief, took from his pocket a handful of nuts and threw them upon the stage. The Monkeys at the sight of the nuts forgot their dancing and became (as indeed they were) Monkeys instead of actors. Pulling off their masks and tearing their robes, they fought with one another for the nuts. The dancing spectacle thus came to an end amidst the laughter and ridicule of the audience.
Hidden meanings in Company talk
1. "We will do it" means "You will do it"
2. "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3. "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
4. "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!"
5. "After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6. "There was a slight mis-communication" means "We had actually lied"
7. "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8. "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9. "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10. "We had slight differences of opinion means "We had actually fought"
11. "Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out.No help from me"
12. "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13. "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14. "Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know…"
15. "We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16. "That’s actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
Last but not the least
17. "All the Best" means "You are in trouble"
Anecdotes
What Goes Around, Comes Around
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.
At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, he graduated
from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: "What goes around comes around."
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.
At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, he graduated
from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
Someone once said: "What goes around comes around."
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